Oct 1, 2007

Looking back and looking ahead

First of all, I should apologize to Rivero because I asked him to go out tonight and draw at a cafe, and I didn't even draw (not uncommon). He completed a sketch, but I just wasn't contributing anything to the creative atmosphere in any way, so for this post I'm making an announcement for this blog and its growing number of viewers (just basing it on the counter in the sidebar). Before I say what I have to, I'll tell you a little bit about how Graphic Apparatus came about just because we've never done so.

Sometime in August of 2006, I asked Adrian what he thought about the idea of doing a team blog where we could push each other to draw on a more regular basis with some kind of regular posting schedule. I think I had started a sketch blog of my own but wasn't doing much with it. I also was enjoying some art blogs created by different groups of artists and seeing all the potential of online sketch journals where people were focusing on process and not necessarily just finished work. He agreed to it and we talked about what to name it, and he came up with the title we have now. Looking back to the end of August 2006, we just started posting without ever really explaining our intent or the purpose of creating a team blog. It was just an experiment anyway, and we never really specified how much or IF we would promote the site. Graphic Apparatus would just be a push for us to do more work, and I really wanted to focus on being more consistent--something I could never quite achieve with my college work because I was a shitty art student with no direction and declining motivation. Five years after school, I'm not that much different save for a brief time prior to this year's Comic-Con. So, here we are over a year after starting, and Adrian's been good about producing more work and getting input from others who check out drawing forums.

So why this long-winded explanation with no sketch or any images? Tonight, I said something to Adrian about setting aside my artistic endeavors to make some changes to my life, and I also said this was not some way of baiting him into saying something nice about my ability to draw. It wasn't some sneaky way of getting compliments from a fellow artist in order to feel good about myself. It was an honest thought on my part that I wanted to say out loud. He was nice enough to say I was good at what I do, so should just stick with it to keep improving. It was a nice thing to say, but I was still thinking about my overall lack of identity and body of work as an "illustrator" or "artist" or whatever I've tried to label myself as. In short, I was grumpy and fed up my lack of effort over the past year[s].

Where does all this leave Graphic Apparatus now? Well, I say that Adrian keeps posting all the stuff he cranks out on a daily basis. I step away from posting to do a lot of thinking about what it is I'm looking to achieve now that I'm 30. Is it comic book work or some other niche in illustration? Maybe Rivero will decide to focus on Art Dump (the other site he started but put on hold since we were focusing our efforts here) or he could start something new. I'll talk to him about it soon, but it's really up to him, and whatever it is, anyone who comes here to browse should keep checking on what he has to share. He has plenty of ideas on the drawing table, so you won't be disappointed. His next post here should let you know where he's going to be posting.

Even after writing this, I'm not sure it was even necessary, but it's rather therapeutic to get it off my chest. I could be back as soon as next week, but who knows.

Thanks to all those who continue to check out this blog! AND thanks to anyone who took the time to read all of the above.

-CM

ps: just to be sure we're all clear, this is NOT the last post for GA, so check back!

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